Those of us, who’ve been in academia, know what it is to live like a nomad. We move where the wind takes us, following our research questions, on a quest where we try to realize our scientific dreams. We are world citizens, without roots, scientists without borders. While the thrill of living in a new country, of learning new languages and new ways, as well as meeting new people, is unparalleled. We also shudder at the thought of settling down, because which country do we call home? Because so many, yet so few places feel like home. We leave a part of our hearts and identities behind, in the different places we live in. The places we live in, the labs we work in, the lab mates we work with, the PI, the project, family, lack of money until we’ve moved on from our postdocs- everything possibly change us, subtly!
Because so many, yet so few places feel like home.
We meet many interesting people in academia, from different countries, different cultures; bound by our scientific curiosity, scientific hardships and shared scorn of xenophobia, we become friends. It’s a nebulous kind of friendship, because there’s a possibility of not meeting again for many years, once we’ve moved to a new job or to a different country. Facebook ties us together, but that could also become an excuse not to make any effort to call or write. Is that then “transient” friendship? I think not, because somewhere we’ve etched our marks on each-others’ minds and hearts. If we met, we’d have a good laugh over a drink or two and share the type of connect only old friends possess. Through the cultural divide we’ve found mates who are much like us, whose thoughts and interests align with ours, who we grow to love.
We leave a part of our hearts and identities behind, in the different places we live in.
Relocating to a new place always comes with the challenge of creating and establishing a new community. Picking, sieving, choosing! The older we get, harder it becomes to find friends, we can call our own. While communities like PhD CSG and STEMPeers can go a long way in filling up this lacuna, to transition from online to offline however, requires work, unlike say bumping into people in the institute corridor or at a “Happy hour”.
What of our old friends though? Does all our wandering take a toll on our lasting friendship? Is our love still the same? Here’s a poem about friendship that I wrote sometime ago –
Sometime, somewhere, a little bit of love was lost between us.
Under the cloak of work, under the cloak of family, under the cloak of motherhood,
A little bit of love went poof!..
Terse phone conversations, filled with uncertain pauses,
Fewer Facebook likes, no more birthday cakes,
Weekend visits – best avoided, as is Christmas time.
Torn fabric, Exclusion
Can we mend it? Let’s ignore for a little longer
That a little bit of love between us, escaped.
Tiny footsteps crept in, amidst our unchecked laughter!
Sleepless nights clawed in, tore the fabric further,
Changed status – jobless, afford-less homes,
A little bit of love got tied to the bank account!
A stroll in the park, an afternoon hike,
A trip to the beach and a snugly dog,
Kids playing in the sand, on a warm sunny day,
A little bit of love showed up again today.
Author-
Roopsha Sengupta did her PhD at the Institute of Molecular Pathology, Vienna and postdoctoral research at the Gurdon Institute, University of Cambridge, UK, specializing in the field of Epigenetics. During her research, she was involved in many exciting discoveries, and had the privilege of working and collaborating with a number of inspiring scientists. She joined CSW as an editor in 2017, and enjoys the challenge of coherently presenting articles, while nudging authors to give their best. Besides science and words, she loves doodling, singing and spending time with children.
Illustrators-
Ipsa provided the cover image. She is a post-doctoral fellow at Instem, Bangalore. She tries to communicate science through visual arts as a medium. Collecting graphic books, tree trash, and reading brain pickings is few of her favourites. Follow and purchase her artwork at Ipsawonders (Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram). She will be happy to hear praises and non-praises at ipsajain.31@gmail.com.
The inset image was designed by Vinita Bharat, PhD. Follow her work as Fuzzy Synapse at Instagram, Facebook and Twitter.
The contents of Club SciWri are the copyright of PhD Career Support Group for STEM PhDs (A US Non-Profit 501(c)3, PhDCSG is an initiative of the alumni of the Indian Institute of Science, Bangalore. The primary aim of this group is to build a NETWORK among scientists, engineers and entrepreneurs).
This work by Club SciWri is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International License.
