Do”nots” of Networking

Image design: Ipsa Jain

Networking by definition is spreading your net to enhance your working visibility. We all have networked at some point of time in our careers. It’s scary and gawky if your are an introvert, and overtly enjoyable if you are an outgoing person.

Very recently someone mailed me on my company email. The first scary thing is, this puts many people off. LinkedIn and other platforms are meant for these, direct mailing is a no no, unless the contact has given you a visiting card. The first line on that email stated I had met this person 8 years back( great I am already blanked out now). The next states directly they want a referral for so and so posting (wonderful). Even worse, there was no introduction of what background this person has, no common ground of how we might have interacted. Worst at the end they asked if they would like to see their CV(if that helps right). Just think what image you have left on your precious catch(oops contact). This is how a real bad “networking example” was. An exception, you might think, but it happens very regularly to many professionals.

Categories of Networkers

Over the years I have come across different categories of networkers.

1. The “Shy me”: The silent readers and unusually quiet watchers. One who reads every advice on internet, smile and actually imbibe them practically. In conferences, they love to be a part of the crowd that surrounds the more talkative ones. Seldom do they realize their own potential. You don’t have to ask many questions to grab attention, even one is good enough. When you walk out of your shy zone you actually realize what all you were missing. Passive participation doesn’t gain much, active talks do. So next time you want to open up, take a deep breath and just type or ask, a world is waiting there for you to open up.
2. The “talkative”: They love to talk, almost everywhere. Almost to the point that they forget the motive of networking. It’s not just for commenting; it’s a way to make others realize that you would like to know more about them. Talking a lot sometimes makes others dilute your thoughts. Fun and serious discussion should be rightfully balanced. At the end your “talks” should broaden and solidify your network not make people avoid you.
3. The “Opportunistic” : One of the major networking categories. Their whole purpose of networking seems to ask for a “job”. Right from that LinkedIn message to the first email. A line about how you know or came across “the networthy” to the very next line talking about jobs and can they “refer” you. For any good person who is in industry or academics it’s this category that’s the most scary to deal with. The art of saying “no” is very difficult for most of us. Have you ever thought, how the other person thinks of you. Yes, desperation is fine, but directly asking with no scope of developing a relationship is a plain “no”. For professionals who don’t know you, giving referrals is like giving guarantee about a stranger. Next time, try to spread your network, much before you reach that desperation.
4.  The “never valued you”: A very strange breed. These people get help without asking, that means the networking worked even with zero efforts and input. So what you do with it, you use the offer to your advantage and then walk away. You never bother to keep your contact active. “Use and throw” marks your personality and believe me it’s something that will make your helpful contact aversive of your approach next time. Next time you plan to fall in this category be assured your “nice” contact has learnt the lesson and decided to walk off from you.
5. The “hard workers”: These people work really hard to reach out, intermingle. However their success rate is in the negative. They themselves don’t know why it didn’t work. One piece of advice is don’t just nurture your network. Ask them questions and share your journey and go out and speak your needs. Often since you didn’t speak your need you missed the bus. I myself am from category five. Roamed in conferences, met the right people but never leveraged the real resources. It’s ok to be naive, no one is perfect. However, learn from every advice and your own mistakes.

Not-so-networking behaviors

Directly asking on a forum “if someone knows someone from a particular company”,and people are good enough to help you out is not Networking. That’s called “using”.

Mailing or messaging a job number and expecting others to refer you without understanding their comfort level is “harassing”.

Expecting others to search for a job based on your skill sets and requirements is “free loading”

Calling contacts at unearthly hours, mailing them after years and expecting them to “help you”, is actually being “selfish”.

I know all this sounds negative but for any person who is willing to help one has to face several of these other kinds, it’s a total put off. You are diminishing your own chances and actually inducing aversion for any future interactions.

The “do’s” of Networking:

1. Make contacts to build common interest relationships
2. Maintain contacts to utilize the other person’s experience
3. Build your own knowledge bank, nurture the bond for openness
4. Seek out without fear when you know they too “know” you well enough
5. Learn to thank them even when the need ends
6. Learn to reach out and let them know how you “valued” their advice
7. Learn to keep them updated about your progress
8. Learn to appreciate that someone was kind enough to interact with you and shared their knowledge and experience bank
9. Learn and “earn” a good network
10. Let the net “work” for you

About the Author:

Smita Salian-Mehta is currently a senior scientist at Abbvie (Chicago). She finished her Masters in Microbiology and followed it up with a PhD in Biochemistry (specialization in reproductive toxicology) from National institute for research in Reproductive health(ICMR) Mumbai. She moved to a post doctoral position in neuroendocrinology at the  University of Colorado before joining Abbvie in 2015. Smita loves to write fictional stories especially fan fiction and has an ardent fan following that eagerly waits for her next stories.

Featured image source: Pixabay